Back to the earth

I receive, inhale, and They hold steady in my bones.
Chaos holds, trembling in my soul.

I belong to Chaos.
I can’t move for stumbling.
I can’t breathe for faltering.

I wonder what it would look like to give everything back,
To lay upon the Earth and give Her all that suffocates me,
To let the heaviness sink into Her flowers, Her grass, Her leaves, Her snow,
To feed her my Chaos.

What would Her magic look like if I gave Her more?
Could I relinquish all of the entropy and watch Her make order,
Watch Her use my storm to nourish an ancient tree?
and in those entwined branches might lay the wisdom I seek
Could I bury Them into the Earth, so that I could then rise free?